Rants and Ramblings: random commentary about culture, media, politics, technology and whatnot.

(try to) do it yourself

Walking through the doors of the Home Depot has the general effect of turning Alyson — a college-educated, generally intelligent computer geek — into a complete idiot. My love for HGTV notwithstanding, I’m no home improvement maven. My big DIY achievement in the past six months was installing a towel rod — a level towel rod — in my bathroom. My new project: Find some way to seal my drafty windows.

I’ve heard/read about this removable plastic sheeting that you can tape up to your windows and seal with a hair dryer. With no major equipment or tools required, it seemed like a project right up my alley (so to speak).

I was a bit overwhelmed when I walked into the Home Depot. Given the uber-cold weather of late, I was expecting to see a display somewhere near the front with weatherproofing supplies, so I could just grab and go. Alas, no. Afraid of being somehow mocked or condescended to by the store personnel, I took to wandering the aisles in search of my sheeting. (I have no concrete reason for that fear; I just feel supremely self-conscious when I feel like I’m majorly out of my element.)

Home Depot has a strange power to intimidate me (or, seen from a different angle, I allow it to intimidate me). The aisles are dark, and the industrial-style shelves dominating. Goods are arranged for efficiency’s sake, not for cosmetic appeal. And there’s so much of it! I haven’t a clue why someone would need 75 different types of nail or 15 different types of chain — but it’s there if they do. Stalled in the window department, I finally caved and asked a salesperson where to find my plastic sheeting. He advised me to ask some guy over in the metalworking department.

Lost en route to the aforementioned department, I asked another salesperson for help. My plastic sheeting apparently wasn’t in “his” department, but he told that the store was out of stock of what I wanted and advised me to try Wal-Mart or another Home Depot store.

I spotted a Lowe’s on Route 1 on my way to the other Home Depot, so I stopped in to try my luck. No dice. The salesman in “Seasonal Merchandise” knew what I was talking about, but didn’t know where it would be stocked. I asked another salesperson in the hardware department for help, only to be directed to the insulation aisle. I finally found my quarry — rather, the empty case that once held my quarry — in the next aisle, next to the weatherstripping (now in multiple widths, thicknesses and colors!).

Back in the car, to Home Depot #2…

With a sketchy knowledge of the hardware department now (thank goodness for standardized store layouts!), I found the aisle with the weatherproofing materials. And directly underneath the weatherstripping: my plastic sheeting! I have six windows to cover, so I picked up three 3-packs (to allow for the inevitable screw-ups and do-overs). On my way to the checkout counter, I bumped into (literally) the table o’ weatherproofing I’d expected to see at the other Home Depot. I spotted a 9-pack box of sheeting, and, realizing it was a better deal, deposited the other boxes of sheeting on the table. Victory!

… well, sort of. When I got home, I took a look at the directions. And they confused me. Do I tape the sheeting around the very outside of the window (about two inches from the actual glass), or along the sash, right in front of the glass? I also need to check in the basement to make sure there’s extra paint for the windowsills, in case the plastic sheeting tape causes damage when I have to do the inevitable do-over.

I’ll figure this out yet.